Richard J. Eisner: Lawyer-Writer

1-800-SUE-THEM has the inherent brand value of fighting for a just cause. It’s David defeating Goliath. Our name is a unified battle cry for anyone considering (or even potentially considering) a lawsuit, from a pedestrian struck by a drunk driver to a corporate whistleblower. More important, it’s an affirmation, a motivational catalyst to take immediate action. And because the name is the telephone number and the World Wide Web domain name, to know the name is to know the phone number and the Web address, and hence to have the instant ability to contact us (the object of the advertising).

A review of personal injury ads will show that the telephone number or Web domain name is typically the ad’s most prominently displayed element. And for good reason: it is the most important element; it’s the active ingredient, the single bit of information the consumer must have in order to proceed with the transaction. A catchy telephone number / Web domain name is the Holy Grail of legal advertising. And yet, of all the fiercely competing lawyers and law firms in this densely populated marketplace, including the biggest and the wealthiest, none—none—has a name-number anywhere near as potent as ours. Following are some of the factors that make our name so powerful:

• High retention: In general, words are easier to remember than numerals; additionally, the verb-subject “SUE-THEM” is striking, and, especially in combination with 1-800, is exceptionally memorable, and rememberable. This vanity telephone number’s simplicity and retention are further enhanced in that, not only do the characters of “SUE THEM” neatly coincide with the seven digits that compose a telephone number, but, also, the two words correspond to the telephone number format of a three-digit prefix and a four-digit suffix. (And 800 is the easiest area code to remember, because it is the original, classic toll-free code.) Into the bargain, simplicity and retention are served by the Web address being the same as the phone number,
  1-800-SUE-THEM.com (and, again, “.com” is the classic domain extension).
• Clarity: there is instantaneous brand identity and recognition; 1-800-SUE-THEM is unique and will not be confused with another number or domain (Richard Eisner owns the trademark: 1-800-SUE-THEM ®).
• Brand continuity . . . is optimized by duplicating the phone number for the dot com.
• Accessibility: the 800 number is known as a free call and implies quick response.
• Immediacy: the verb-noun combination “SUE-THEM” is concise and action-oriented.
• Explicit call-to-action: anyone at any socio-economic level can respond to the catalyst. And dialing the number gives the consumer the satisfying sensation of actually taking the suggested action: when he calls SUE-THEM, he in effect does just that: takes the first step in the litigation process—gets in touch with an attorney.
• Confidence: the name’s brevity and affirmative punch bespeaks bold and effective communication, traits people want in a lawyer (in their lawyer).
• Versatility: SUE-THEM can cover all plaintiff cases, not only personal injury.
• Easy translation: ads incorporating 1-800-SUE-THEM translate beautifully into other languages (for example, Spanish: ¿Lesionado? 1-800-SUE-THEM.com . . . Llame gratis o haga clic, para un buen abogado).

With sufficient funding, and proper handling, 1-800-SUE-THEM could become a household word, a lawyer toll free telephone number / domain name that every consumer knows, without having to do research or even look up the number. Its business-attracting potential is huge; it has the potential to dominate the plaintiff market.

Apropos, see the 1-800-SUE-THEM interactive ad (designed by Richard Eisner), at the following link (the page that will open contains two ads—the lower one is the latest version): 1800suethem.com/interactivead.

Among Richard Eisner’s writings are numerous articles that can be found online at philosophy-in-LA.tribe.net. At the site, scroll down to the list of subjects, and click on the “topics” tab at the top of that section. Click on any subject to view it. Topic-titles and posting-dates of Eisner’s items are these:

• “When is war justified?” (12-3-04; 1-9-05; and 2-13-05);
• “Can science improve ethics?” (on egoism) (1-9-05);
• “The value of a world view” (2-13-05);
• “Animation Project” (on determinism) (3-12-05);
• “Why are we here?” (4-2-05);
• “Free will” (4-23-05);
• “On Flew’s ‘Theology and Falsification’” (5-29-05 and 10-22-05);
• “The Ethics of Belief” (7-9-05 and 8-27-05);
• “Monarchy” (8-7-05);
• “Towing Jehova” (9-24-05; 12-26-05; and 1-28-05);
• “Utopia” (10-29-05);
• “On Language, Linguisticality, and the Practice of Philosophy” (3-4-06);
• “Inherent Limits of Reason and Science” (4-1-06);
• “What does it mean to understand something?” (11-25-06);
• “Why Be Moral?” (2-2-07);
• “Foolish Consistency” (3-8-07);
• “Buddhist Theories of the Mind” (“Four Critiques of Buddhism” 11-17-07);
• “Can one rationally convert to a religion?” (5-20-08; 8-31-08; 11-8-08; and (“On the Impossibility of Knowledge, Free Will, and God” 5-24-09));
• “The things that influence how people vote” (“Why the Left Should Vote” 6-7-08);
• “Speciesism / Anthropomorphism—Is it Justified?” (9-30-08);
• “Defining Conservatism and Liberalism” (11-27-08 and 12-2-08);
• “What does it mean to be irrational?” (12-25-08; 1-24-09; 3-18-09; and 4-25-09);
• “Humor: what makes something funny?” ((“Mark Twain Ghost Speech” 7-4-09) and 5-22-11);
• “What is a boundary, and is it real or mind-created?” (7-28-09);
• “The Afterlife or the Soul—Is it Plausible?” (8-29-09);
• “Education: What purpose(s) should it have?” (9-26-09);
• “Is Science Converging on the Truth?” (1-16-10);
• “Categorical Imperative: is morality objective?” (3-28-10);
• “Abortion: philosophical arguments for and against” (6-19-10; (“For the Right to Abortion” 8-15-10); and 3-22-12);
• “Beliefs: what are they, and can we choose them?” (1-16-11);
• “Is Morality Relative? Objective? Neither?” (“On Morality” 5-27-11);
• “Addiction: disease, disordered choices, or what?” (2-18-12); and
• “Happiness:  What Is It and How Should We Pursue It?” (4-28-12).